June 9, 2021: Well, Here Goes Nothing

Lately I’ve been trying to convince Mom to let me leave the house. It’s been so suffocating lately to not be able to go anywhere, or have anyone visit. I know that she’s only trying to protect me, but sometimes I feel like she doesn’t realize that she’s doing more harm then good. I feel like I’m dying inside. I need to get out of here! I need some fresh air to breathe, and feel the sun on my skin. At this point I’d even settle for the constant swats of cicadas as I make my way down the street. At least then I’d have something to distract me from it all. Cause keeping me inside this house is not it. I swear it's only making me worse. I’m constantly stressed and I feel myself becoming more and more depressed. All I’m asking is for is a measly two weeks out of fifty-two. A little something before summer school uproots itself in my daily affairs and shatters any semblance of normalcy. And she can't even give me that. But every time she cries we don't hesitate to comfort and be there for her. But when it's us all we get from her is tears, as if it's our fault for making her cry. Man, fuck it. Imma do this shit my own way.