June 2, 2021: Meeting with Dr. Stevenson

Dr. Stevenson says that I should keep a daily journal on me from now on. Apparently it’s supposed to help me with the blackouts. To be honest I think she’s bullshit. Like what the fuck is writing this shit down going to do for me? The only thing it’s going to do is prove that these asshats at school were justified when they said, “Shai’s just another psycho”. Hmm, just another psycho? Like I’m not interesting enough to be “The Psycho”. But no, to them I’m nothing more than a non canon character with no side or filler story. But whatever, their opinion doesn’t matter. It’s teachers that I have to worry about. First it was summer school, now it’s this rumor. Word at the Lake is some of the teachers are trying to prevent me from graduating next year. How fucked is that? It’s like they don’t even care. The same educators who society tells us we should listen to, are the same ones who don’t listen to us when no one else will. And don’t even get me started on my parents. Don’t get me wrong, they do the best that they can, but it’s not making me feel any better about myself, or them for that matter. Last night, Mom locked herself in the bathroom again, as Dad tried to get her to come back to bed, but to avail. She doesn’t like to cry in front of him, she says that it makes her feel weak. But sometimes I get the feeling that it hurts him more that she won’t let him in. Maybe things will change when I'm no longer here.